I grab the bottle of champagne out of the cabinet
and I pour some of it in my champagne glass.
I look back at a year of sorrow and pain,
while I take a sip of my champagne.
2020 a year so difficult,
Who would’ve thought there would be a worldwide pandemic?
I look outside my window and see this year has been sour,
Just an hour and 2020 will be finally gone.
2021, I hope you are not as dreadful as 2020 was to me.
I feel the cold rain splashing against my body,
I guess I left my bedroom window wide open.
I feel broken inside.
I hear Tim McGraw playing in the background,
and it makes me think about everything we once were.
The rain doesn’t stop pouring,
So, all I can do is worry about tomorrow.
I can’t help but wonder if you’re alright.
It’s quiet tonight,
Tim McGraw is still playing in the background,
He’s singing the words I desperately want to say,
but I’m way too late…
It is quiet outside,
The rain is splashing against the window,
I’m home.
I got nothing to do because everything is closed during this lockdown.
So, I sit on my couch and stare at the pitch-black screen from my television,
and I listen to my favorite music.
It is silent in the living room,
The dishwasher is making a sound in the background,
It’s a quiet december night.
I lit the candles and I turn on the electric fireplace too,
Just to create a peaceful atmosphere even though there’s nothing to do.
It’s a quiet december night.
When just a single song can wound you from deep within,
yet you can’t help it but you want to play that certain song again and again.
When just a single song can make you feel lifeless inside,
you know it’s you that’ll be bleeding in the cold snow tonight.
Your injuries are crying in the rain,
and you’re begging yourself you won’t listen to that song again,
but here you are,
you’re pressing “play” again and again..
10 minutes left until you leave me for another place,
10 minutes left until I won’t see you again.
10 minutes left and I want to speak to you,
10 minutes left and I want to caress your face.
10 minutes left and I want to;
kiss you, hug, and live with you…
.. but instead I have to miss you because it’s too late.
The living room is dark and I’m sitting on the couch in this empty house,
the dishwasher is making an annoying sound in the background.
I’m staring at the flames that are fading out in the fireplace,
today I only think about you, darling I miss your face.
It’s hurting me deep inside to listen to Rachel Wammack’s music all alone,
her music was meant to make me forget about you, but I guess it seems that I just can’t.
I run towards the bathroom and I try to hold myself together as I’m standing here with my eyes closed against the cold bathroom wall.
My vision is blurry by the tears in my eyes,
my mascara is smeared so I’m aggressively washing my face in the sink.
I turn on the shower and I grimace as the ice-cold water hits my skin,
it makes me shiver from the outside and within.
I fall down onto the bathroom floor and I scream out the words from “Closure”,
I think I just lost my composure.
…
Song tip: “Closure” by Rachel Wammack
My white T-Shirt is drenched from your tears but I don’t care.
Just cry on my shoulder and bare your heart,
show me your worries about tomorrow.
Your eyes are red and you’re in sorrow.
Baby you’re suffering but please don’t suffer on your own,
I’m here with you so you don’t have to go through all of it alone.
Just cry on my shoulder and bare your heart,
don’t be ashamed there’s nobody else to witness it, only me.
Scream out your pain,
I don’t care.
Do it over and over again.
I was born to love you through your good and bad times,
I was born to protect you,
I was born to let you cry on my shoulder.
…
Song tip: “Break On Me” Keith Urban
My skin is just white,
Your skin is just black.
You are brave,
I ain’t anything close to that.
You are just black,
I am just white.
Believe me, the world must be tired of people just like me.
I`m thinking the world needs people like you that are unique.
I am just white,
You are just black,
and that’s fine.
You’re here in the seat next to me in our garden,
You’re here with me, during summer, during autumn, during winter and during spring.
Darling, seasons change and we have grown older but your beauty never changed a thing.
You are here in the seat next to me in our car and you whisper sweet nothings against my ear,
I feel chills running up and down my spine,
You still manage to make me feel weak in the knees even after all those years.
You’re here in the seat next to me in our living room and our hands intertwine,
darling, we made our vows for better and for worse and I thank God every day that you’re still mine.
You are in the seat next to me in our local cinema and we’re watching our life pass by just like a movie trailer.
Darling, if I could rewind to a special moment in our life,
I would do it over and over again right now,
with you in the seat right next to me.
I press play at the moment when we first locked eyes, when we said those “I love You’s”, when you first met my parents, when you needed my comfort, when you said “I do”, and when we were kissing yesterday in the pouring rain.
Write somebody a letter,
or send someone a handwritten card.
Call somebody on the phone,
or greet your neighbor when you’re in your backyard.
Give somebody a smile,
or give someone your complete attention.
Stay in contact with your family,
and your friends.
Let someone know you’re thinking about them,
especially when you haven’t seen that person in weeks.
Look in on someone,
or buy some groceries for people you don’t really know.
Share your music with the world,
or give someone a song of hope to hold onto, during this difficult situation.
Read a psalm or a verse from the Bible,
or pray together with somebody else about your frustrations.
Ilse Dekker Poetry 