It’s My Fault

It’s raining and it’s my fault,

It’s like my heart couldn’t wait any longer to break yours.

It’s raining and it’s my fault,

I ruined the love that once was ours.

It’s raining in your life,

It’s like I’m constantly filling up your eyes with tears.

It’s raining and it’s my fault.

You’re crying,

You’re dying,

it’s raining and it’s my fault.

 

 

October

 
It’s just the beginning of october,

the leaves are falling from the trees,

It has been raining non-stop for weeks.

..

The rain is splashing against my green raincoat,

The summer is long gone.

It’s just the beginning of october,

and this Dutch weather feels so wrong.

..
I stop for a minute,

I scroll through my spotify playlist

and I put on a song from Riley Roth.
Suddenly my day isn’t so bad anymore,

I actually enjoy it.

Where Am I?

My wheelchair stands in the corner of the room, next to the door.

Dreadful paintings are hanging on the wall,

there’s a musty carpet lying on the floor.

.

Where am I?

Can somebody tell me which day it is today?

Can somebody call my parents? (I miss them every day)

.

I’m sitting on a sofa that’s old and grey,

I’ve forgotten everything.

I miss my family.

.

I look into the mirror and I count 84 of wrinkles in my face,

I miss my youth every day.

.

I want to brush my teeth but I can’t find my toothbrush,

I’m frustrated.

.

Where am I?

Can somebody tell me which day it is today?

Can somebody call my parents? (I miss them every day)

.

Is it the time to go to bed?

Is it evening yet?

I close my eyes,

I wake up.

I close my eyes,

I wake up.

I close my eyes,

I wake up and stare at the ceiling.

 

 

 

I Miss You Like Sad Keith Urban Songs

I don’t always listen to sad songs from Keith Urban,

but today I do because I miss you.

I can’t sleep,

I can’t breathe,

I can’t eat.

My body is fighting even though it’s feeling tired and lifeless.

I don’t always listen to sad songs from Keith Urban,

but today I do because I miss you.

I desperately want the pain (you left behind) to go away,

the other side of me wants you to stay (and I hate for also feeling that way).

The piano intro from Tonight I Wanna Cry makes my skin shiver in fear.

The banjo and guitar I hear in the chorus from We Were are making me cry.

The fragile singing voice from Keith Urban in You’ll Think Of Me are making my insides die.

Look at me right now, I’m a bleeding mess lying on the cold bathroom floor.

I don’t always listen to sad songs from Keith Urban,

but today I do because I miss you.

 

 

I Pray To God

Raindrops are falling against my car windows.

I don’t know where I am,

I don’t know which day it is today.

My windshield is broken,

so it’s raining inside my car.

I pray to God if He can safe me.

I almost lose control over the steering wheel.

I break into a cold sweat,

I feel terrified.

I miss you, I miss me,  but most of all, I miss us.

It is midnight and I feel like crying,

my body and soul are tired.

I pray to God if He can safe me.

 

I Take A Shower

I take a shower to feel the hot water biting against my wounded skin,

I take a shower to let it rain within me.

I take a shower to invite my tears to the sad party I organised,

I take a shower because I can’t seem to know if there’s  purpose in my life.

I take a shower and feel the blood falling down onto the bathroom tiles,

I take a shower and I cry.

 

7-Eleven

The female cashier has youthful eyes,

but there are bags underneath them,

I guess she’s tired.

The tube lights on the ceiling are blinding my eyes,

I really don’t know what I’m doing here at the middle of the night.

The cans of soda are standing in a broken refrigerator,

the windows of this 7-eleven are stained with dirty fingerprints.

The clock’s hitting half past one.

I’m still here and the cashier isn’t done with her night shift yet.

 

 

 

 

Second Home

My hair smells like the salty sea breeze,

my lips taste like the North Sea.

My skin feels sticky from the sun cream,

the sand itches between my toes.

I’m lying on my towel,

with a song from Riley Roth on repeat in my headphones.

Yes, this beach is my second home.

……………

Song tip:   “Friendly”  by Riley Roth 

 

 

 

You’re Getting Married

I keep asking myself why I got invited to your wedding.

Did you wanted to make me feel hurt?

..

I’m standing here all alone

and I’m hiding from the crowd.

..

I have to hide my feelings for you so I put on a mask,

even though I prefer to cry in the back.

..

Tears are falling down my cheeks,

my heels are hurting my feet.

..

I just don’t want to be here,

but you invited me to your wedding.

 

You are walking down the aisle,

your eyes are on your bride,

but my eyes are on you.

 

You put your ring on her hand,

she puts her ring on your hand.

 

I’m too late..

 

People are crying happy tears,

I’m dying inside.